The Muzzled Voice

Archive for April 2009

Dear Mr. Obama,

Excuse me right off the bat for not respecting the title of “Mr. President,” but at this current time I truly feel you no longer deserve that high honor, as YOU have disrespected me, and thousands of others who “waved tea bags around” in protest of your overspending.

You obviously don’t care what the American people are trying to convey to you. You claim you’ll have a “conversation” with us, but we’ve tried already, and you didn’t listen. We have contacted our Senators and Congress, and we have been ignored.

It’s disgraceful that you stood before a large crowd and publicly humiliated the people you claim to serve. You aren’t serving US, Mr. Obama, you are serving your own agenda and your own left-wing, liberal party. You have no respect for the average American, and obviously no regard for what our needs are.

When millions of people bashed President Bush, he never once stooped so low as to publicly call them out, nor did he criticize any news station that “disliked” him, because he didn’t care. He was serving the people, not the press. He didn’t make a public spectacle out of himself so he’d look cute or funny, and he didn’t take pot shots at those who disagreed with him and make them look like fools. He had honor. He had common decency and respect. He was a class act who refused to take the bait.

President Bush once said that he knew that the decisions he made regarding the war weren’t always going to be popular with everyone, and he knew he was risking his reputation by making those tough decisions, but he said he’d “rather risk his reputation than risk the safety of this country.” Now THAT is honorable. You could take a lesson from this story, Mr. Obama, because it seems as if you don’t know how to govern the people, so instead you lash out at them, and that is utterly shameful. You owe the American people an apology, and their voices deserve to be heard!

Instead of trying to be a cute celebrity who’s trying to win a popularity contest, it would be better if you just stopped and listened. But you think you’re better than the average American, and you take them for fools. Stand up and take responsibility for the mistakes you’ve made, as you and your party insisted President Bush should have done so many times before. Fix the problems instead of blaming someone else, and stop making those problems worse!

By you implying that the tea party participants were “pretending” that their protest was against the TARP package just goes to show that you weren’t listening and you don’t care what was really being said. Instead, you publicly humiliated them to get a laugh out of the crowd, and in the process caused further division.

Americans are tired of bailing out big corporations. They are fearful of the wasteful spending that has been taking place over the past 101 days in your administration. They worry about their future, and the future of their children and their children’s children. They don’t WANT socialized healthcare, and they don’t want nationalized businesses where you run the show and make the decisions for those companies. They don’t want the wool pulled over their eyes with sneaky politics and hush-hush bills being rushed through without real debates and conversations about what those bills entail. They are “we the people,” and you and this government work for them, not the other way around. They want their voices to be heard. They love this country and the principals it was founded upon. They love the idea of this country and know the value of freedom. But these very people are finding that freedom is only one-sided now. That anyone who disagrees with the liberal agenda will be ridiculed, and eventually silenced. It is OUR rights that are being taken away. It’s our voices that are being stifled. It is our morals and values that are being degraded and belittled. And we have now become a corrupt nation, full of lies, betrayal, and hate, with an utter lack of respect for one another and their beliefs, ideals, and opinions. And by ridiculing the tea party participants, Mr. Obama, you only added more fuel to that already blazing fire.

This country is turning upside down and the American people are desperately trying to prevent that from happening full tilt. They are restless and angry. They are desperate and fearful. They are weary and tired. And all you do is rub salt to those very wounds. You’re not helping the country, Mr. Obama, you are destroying it, and you are destroying the American people. You are hurting us instead of helping us.

You may have won, but that doesn’t make you right. Stop degrading average Americans and start listening, start governing, and start working for “we the people.” Stop trying to be cute and funny. You weren’t hired to be a celebrity. You were hired to be the President of the United States of America. Start acting like it.


Today is tax day. April 15, 2009. I paid my taxes at the beginning of the year, and today I’m sitting up in bed, not feeling well, gathering my thoughts about what’s happening around our country today.

I’m feeling guilty for not attending the Anti-Tax Tea Party up in Madison today. I’ve been a huge opponent of the stimulus package, and have voiced my opinion, politically, about many things I disagree with, especially concerning this current administration.

I truly wanted to be involved in this process today. I wanted to be able to tell my son, when he gets older, that his parents were involved in a huge part of history to stand up and be heard on issues that ultimately will affect him and his future. I was the one who eagerly encouraged many people to become active in this protest. But I’m not there today.

My mom is suffering from recurring breast cancer, which is incurable. Monday we spent most of the day at the hospital with her, as she is in constant pain from her chemo treatments. And yesterday we spent the day in Chicago, as Jared, once again, had to make another emergency visit to the doctor about his knee, which isn’t getting any better. And we decided earlier in the day yesterday that we would make the 2 hour trip up to Madison to be involved, to be heard, and to be the kind of people who stand up for their beliefs.

There are many reasons we didn’t go. We were exhausted over the past few days, we had already missed out on work and didn’t want to take yet another day off without pay, and Jared’s knee doesn’t fair well as he sits still for long periods of time. And let’s not forget I’m 8 months pregnant and in constant need of a nearby bathroom. Fortunately we decided late last night that we wouldn’t go. I had a rough night and didn’t sleep well, and woke up feeling horrible.

But here’s what truly concerned me: People who don’t care, or believe Obama is doing the right thing, or continue to blame Bush for everything that continues to go wrong in the world, are making those of us who are FINALLY standing up and trying to be heard, out to be racists, neoconservatives, or simply ignorant.

I’ve been watching Fox News today, trying to see what’s going on out there and what I’m missing. And last night I told Jared the exact thing one reporter said: There’s not much confidence in this administration or this Congress, for the people to be taken seriously. Although every state has various Tea Parties going on today, still, no one is listening. Obama instead came out with yet another teleprompter speech about the economy and how he “won’t” raise taxes. As I listened, I noticed numerous contradictions to what he said a mere few weeks ago about taxing the rich and the small businesses. But he had to say all this so those of us who understand the reality of what will take place with his trillion dollar spending package would look moronic.

I said last night, “What does it really matter? No one listens to the average, everyday, conservative person.” We are the minority. We typically don’t scream and shout at people and tell them how stupid they are. Instead, we try to do things by the book and we believe in our rights, although constantly violated, and hope that Americans and politicians will do the right thing for the country as a whole, and not just the loons on the left who truly don’t have a clue about right and wrong anymore. But we have been looked upon as scum, as worthless, as vile human beings who are just prejudice and hate mongers. No one truly cares about how we feel, or what we believe anymore. Our voice doesn’t matter, and they are trying to do everything in their power to muzzle our voices.

I’m sick to death of the Bush-bashing that is endlessly taking place. The blame game Obama and his lackeys are playing is getting old, and it’s nothing more than a way to pass the buck so no one will pay attention to their role in the whole economic mess we’re currently suffering. Let’s not forget that Bush bailed out the banks in October, and both candidates agreed to this idea. After that, Obama won the election, and since then has bailed out the banks again, and may yet do so one more time. So why keep bashing Bush for the same things Obama is currently doing, only a hundred times worse? Why keep focusing on the past mistakes, and instead find better solutions? It didn’t work. We get that. But to put Bush down and continue supporting Obama is a contradiction I can’t bear to endure anymore. It’s hypocritical and an absolute cop-out. Obama is making the matter worse, not better, and to believe otherwise is truly ignorant.

The blind faith the American people have put in Obama is unnerving. It will have detrimental effects on our country and the future of our children. No matter what he says NOW, we will pay the price when he realizes that his tiny plan of the rich paying the cost of his inexperienced and egomaniacal spending package didn’t work.

Take a look at the states that took the money. They are currently raising taxes. Why? Because they NEED A WAY TO PAY FOR IT.

I admire the governors who stood firm and said NO to this money, because they understood what it would ultimately do to the taxpayers. They were thinking of the people, rather than their own greed. And now, this arrogant President thinks he can overlook the constitution and FORCE these governors to take dirty money they don’t care to take and inflict more cost onto the people.

I’m not stupid. I understand that the media and the fascist left will always make me look like I don’t know the truth. That doesn’t mean that I shut up and give up. It just means I get smart about it. Protests never got anyone anywhere. I’ve written my Senators on many occasions. They don’t care. They aren’t listening. I don’t matter anymore.

I don’t have confidence that people like me, who still believe in morals and values, will have much of a voice in the world anymore. I think the left has gone too far, and too many self-righteous people refuse to admit they are wrong. We are ALLOWING injustices to take place, and overlooking the obvious. We’re too concerned about hurting other people’s feelings, rather than taking care of ourselves.

I hope that those who stood up and spoke out today will be heard. But I don’t think that “we the people” really matter to “those the greedy.” And this ridiculousness will be something we not only have to endure for the next four years, but for the rest of our lifetime. When the damage is done, there’s no turning back. And the package has been signed, sealed and delivered. What we say now has no impact on what this administration says or does here out.

This Tea Party should have been done long ago. It should have been done when Obama and Pelosi started spewing their ignorant, self-bloated spending package to the people. But they forced it through. They did it without even knowing themselves what was in it. They crammed it down our throat and made a hasty effort to make sure the American people didn’t know what was in it, either. They gave us no choice in the matter. And they didn’t allow us to speak in a timely manner…and that’s why they pushed it through so quickly.

Everyone keeps talking about how this administration is “transparent,” I couldn’t disagree more. This has been the sneakiest President, administration, and Congress I’ve known in my lifetime…possibly in history.

I’d like to believe that being active makes a difference, but I’m not sure anyone cares to hear what conservatives have to say anymore. It’s no wonder we’ve all just went silent. And what’s the answer to that? How do we fight to be heard? How do we win the battle that is being fought against us at every turn? How do we protect the family, and faith, and our freedoms? How do we teach our children to resist the greedy ways of the world when it’s shoved in our face everyday? How do we even recognize right from wrong when so many lines are crossed? What do we do when there seems to be nothing left to do? A protest? A reenactment of a tea party that didn’t work back then, and won’t work today?

Both sides are to blame. Both parties. But no one is more to blame than the American people who continue to let these injustices take place. Some are saying today, “We’re not going to take it anymore,” but really…what does that mean if no one listens?

My best friend, Pennie, turned 46 on Tuesday. I joked with her that she only had a few more years before she turned the big 5-0. Although we got a good laugh out of it, she reminded me that I was 40, and I’d probably be 100 years old by the time Tavin graduated. It was an exaggeration, of course, but I couldn’t help but think about how my life, at 40, is literally starting all over again.


How many people do we know in a lifetime who get a real second chance at life; an opportunity to truly start all over again? Not many. And I never thought that I would be one of those people.


I always saw my life as one way, and not the other. I thought that my past would always dictate my future; that it would hold me back from the things in life I had always hoped for. I was blessed, and lucky, to have found love at my age, especially after all I had gone through in my life. Pennie, on the other hand, has given up hope. It’s not easy. And I know it’s a cliché to say, “If it can happen to me, it can happen to you,” but I can’t help but believe that, knowing what I know.


At 40, I’m feeling young at heart again, because life is starting over. I’m in love for the first time in my life. I may have loved others before, but it wasn’t “this.” It was always such destructive love that it never made any sense to me. But now I have this relationship that feels good, and is better than most people could hope for in a lifetime. And although I’ve been jaded, and the thought of marriage carries many bad memories for me, I am, again, getting married. But this time it feels like the first time, because it’s for all the right reasons.


And at 40, I’m having my second child. I never thought… I usually steered clear of men who were looking to have a family, because I just didn’t want anymore children. I had Josh, and that was good enough for me. I had done my child rearing. I had gone through it all, and I was so young when I did it that it was “my time” to live my life. I just wanted to go through life pretty much on my own, my way.


Jared changed all that. We were both against having children for many, many reasons. But there was a moment last summer when we were given a special gift. We were allowed to see that although having a child would ultimately change our lives, it could change it for the better, and it didn’t have to change who we are. And our child didn’t have to be a child of the world, but a child of our love and guidance. A product of the love that we shared, that needed to be shared with someone special. And that day, right there, we decided, with hundreds of people watching, that we would change our lives to know that special someone. 


I’ve had so many experiences in life when I found myself looking back at my life and wondering, “How did I get here?” Sometimes it was good, other times it was bad. And then there are moments when I look back and realize that my life ended at one point, and began again at another. There are periods in my life when I just glided through, not really paying attention, but just trying to survive, trying to find my way, any way I could.


Finding Jared was like tripping over something and landing in someone’s lap. I’m not entirely sure it was supposed to happen, but I’m glad that it did.


This morning I woke up at 5:30 and couldn’t fight the urge to think back on how this all started. How weird and awkward it was at first, just making the initial date. I remember getting angry with Jared when he first called to set up the date. It wasn’t what I had hoped for, and I got really frustrated and disappointed. I wasn’t too excited about our first date, and nearly cancelled. But I knew Jared was a nice guy, and despite my lack of “romantic feelings” for him, I just wanted to go and spend time with a nice guy, and I had no expectations whatsoever!


And that’s how it happens. When you least expect it. When you give someone a chance even when it doesn’t “seem” like something you’d ever choose for yourself. You have all these “ideas” about the right person or the right job or the perfect life, and then someone, out of nowhere, pops up and changes everything! And mostly for the better. Because Someone Else knows us better, and if we trust that Someone Else, and take chances that seem out of the ordinary to us, we just never know what might happen. But if we get all caught up in our own ideas about how things are supposed to look, or be, we’ll never discover what’s truly in store for us.


It was that first date. Although awkward at times, we both knew at one point during the date that we HAD to know this person more. There may have even been a moment when we both knew that we had finally found our other half. And I had ample opportunity to run like hell after that. But I didn’t…I couldn’t. Thank God.


Sometimes I wake up, roll over and see Jared lying next to me, and all I can do is smile. I can’t help…but smile. And then I close my eyes again, and I thank God for bringing Jared into my life.


And then I feel a flutter. A kick. And I realize that I have a life inside of me. A piece of our love growing, becoming more real everyday. And I love Jared more. And I love Tavin more. And I wonder…am I dreaming? Because I never thought, in a million years, that this would be my life. That I—of all people—would know this, and know what it means to start all over again.


So what? I’m 40! My life is half over…but it’s just beginning. Who could ask for anything more?

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